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I have forgotten why I should not sleep.
I think I was afraid of something,
Something I could not see, and 
There was a light that went out
And there was a darkness swinging me around
But I have forgotten why it was so important
For me not to even blink, but
I remember a lifetime of fears
And a mother with blood eyes shoot with tears,
I remember a bite in my neck
And a spirit in my head
None of that matters now
Not since I can finally close my eyes
And my hands are not cold anymore
And my breathe is not raged
And my shoulders are not shaking
For I finally forgotten what made me so shy
The footsteps on the stairs get louder
And louder still than my heartbeat
Because now, the noises around
Are not keeping me awake
Rather they carried me to sleep
And far, far away from him.


I think the word "him" changes all the point in this, I don't know why, at first I was going to write "fear" instead, but I think "him" changes what I was thinking at first... It kind of amazes me how just one word can change all the subject... at least for me

Comments

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clarionj
Nov. 25th, 2012 04:55 pm (UTC)
Yes, "him" does change it quite a lot. I love the idea you have throughout of not sleeping, remaining vigilant against some fear. You also add images of the mother with blood eyes and a bite on the neck, which makes us think the fear has to do with what the speaker is now, or what had been feeding on her. Love the footstep on the stair; I can feel the heart beating with that. And so then the last "him" makes me think "he" caused the bite on her neck and the living in fear (though a mother with blood eyes could also be a maker).

It gives me the feeling that the speaker has gone through a terror and is now on her way out of it (shoulders not shaking anymore).

The past times I came on LJ, I didn't see your posts on my friends' list. I must have just missed them. I'm going to read some of the poems!!
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